Never to Teach Alone Again

Those words continue to stay with me years after reading them.  Anyone who knows me can attest to the respect and admiration I hold for Katie Wood Ray and I reluctantly admit that, yes, I AM a bit of a groupie.  Her point, in this instance, was that if we have a well-crafted book (or a handful of them), we have all we need to teach writing well.  We don’t have to have everything there is to know about writing in our own heads at this very moment; we can put our faith in the authors we hold close and trust that they have rich things to teach our students (and ourselves) about writing.  We carry these authors with us – whether literally or figuratively – and we teach alongside them.   I found comfort and excitement in these words and have never looked at teaching writing the same way since.

But these words ring true for me in a different context as well.  As I find myself in new and oftentimes uncomfortable professional situations, these words come back to me.   I do not teach alone.  All that I am as a teacher is wrapped up in the experiences and the people who’ve come before. 

I carry them with me.  And that gives me strength.

I carry those who first showed me what it means to teach.  That all you learn in college is just the beginning.  That if you pay attention, your students will teach you.  That there is strength together and that we CANNOT do this job alone.  And that you won’t make it if you don’t take time to laugh.   

I carry those whom I’ve taught alongside, who’ve shared…everything.  The teachers who astound me on a regular basis and continue to teach me what responsive teaching truly is.  The ones who gave me authority until I earned it for myself. 

I carry the students who said, “Make me”, the students who taught me new cuss words and schooled me on the proper slang terms.  Those who constantly made me question, “What the hell am I going to do?” EVERY DAY on my ride home from work.  The ones who pushed me just because they could.  It was a push I needed.

I carry the administrators.  Yeah, I said it.  It’s easy to become entrenched in our own perspective, to become bogged down in our everyday reality and lose sight of where others are coming from.   Stepping outside of my classroom teacher shoes into the role of instructional coach helped me to see a bigger picture.  I will take that with me as I walk back into the classroom. 

I carry those who have graciously welcomed me into their classroom, who created space for me to learn alongside them and their students.  Those who said, “Come watch and tell me what you see,” and “How can we…?”.  Who taught me more than I could ever return to them.  The perpetual learners.  They’ve taught me that it’s okay to not know and it’s okay to open your door anyway.  Because we don’t have to have all the answers; we just have to have faith that we can learn and grow together.

I carry the Nykerias, the Ronalds, the Dyquans.  The students who forced me to step outside my world, my comfort zone.  The students who shocked me with the stories of their lives…at 6, 8, 11 years old.  They are the ones who haunt me - the ones I pray make it out of that neighborhood and not onto the evening news.   They taught me the true meaning of resiliency.

I am stronger because of all of you.  You give me comfort that I can do this and that it does matter.  You continue to help me outgrow myself. 

I will never teach alone again.